A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
