I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
