the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
