what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
