rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Farmville is her only friend.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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