The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
