spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
