saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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