we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
