Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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