FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
