That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Floor bacon is actually really good
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
