So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
