Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
