fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
