Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
