i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
