my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
