I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i wish my penis had a tongue
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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