she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
