Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
