Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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