allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think I am morally bankrupt
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
