she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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