I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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