I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
