did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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