she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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