shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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