awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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