please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
