last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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