I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize