I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
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