Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
