dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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