I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
