that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
