trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
