Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
