she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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