I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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