there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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