Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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