We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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