question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
