before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
