I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
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So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
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I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you