He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Shame is for Republicans.
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