i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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