My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual