Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends

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  (714): It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends http://tfl.nu/q0nl
  Replies (5) Good night (2648) Bad night (922)
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  (408): View more from California

  I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.

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  (408): I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller. http://tfl.nu/ndfu
  Replies (13) Good night (781) Bad night (3803)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.

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  (859): The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know. http://tfl.nu/3jb2
  Replies (17) Good night (5984) Bad night (857)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom

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  (917): shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom http://tfl.nu/fv07
  Replies (13) Good night (5962) Bad night (1247)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.

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  (604): I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard. http://tfl.nu/0z3w
  Replies (15) Good night (4601) Bad night (946)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...

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  (206): he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker... http://tfl.nu/z1il
  Replies (16) Good night (5292) Bad night (1300)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have

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  (727): I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have http://tfl.nu/1hgx
  Replies (2) Good night (1220) Bad night (643)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business

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  (+61): This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business http://tfl.nu/efay
  Replies (2) Good night (983) Bad night (601)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers

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  (573): So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40 (417): I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers http://tfl.nu/ngz4
  Replies (5) Good night (1760) Bad night (622)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car

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  (203): You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car http://tfl.nu/3edo
  Replies (2) Good night (1180) Bad night (607)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...

  (303): View more from Colorado

  God works in mysterious ways my friend.

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  (720): Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday... (303): God works in mysterious ways my friend. http://tfl.nu/qprf
  Replies (6) Good night (1678) Bad night (632)
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  (310): View more from California

  Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere

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  (310): Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/c0r9
  Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.

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  (661): Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic. http://tfl.nu/0y3r
  Replies (5) Good night (1144) Bad night (379)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent

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  (972): I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent http://tfl.nu/4hg2
  Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (421)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.

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  (440): When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone. http://tfl.nu/fw5h
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (250)

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