How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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