i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone