I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
