If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
