Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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