I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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