shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
