How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
