this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
