Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
